Só queria aqui denunciar uma situação impensável. Chegou a altura de cortar o cabelo, foi um acordo comigo mesmo e a condição em que o cortaria verificou-se.
Porém, estou a ser chantageado por certa e determinada Pessoa, que ameaçou deixar de ser boa Pessoa para mim caso eu seguisse para a frente com essa idéia.
Agora não sei...mais um dilema na minha vida...
PS: Concluí também que preciso de ajuda psicológica profissional. Ah, e fui convidado a leccionar num conservatório...
Pensamento do dia: Cortar ou não cortar?
Música do dia: Faith - Versão Limp Bizkit
segunda-feira, 12 de novembro de 2007
Leva-me pela mão (Mas leva-me tu)
Acho que a falha hepática me afectou o cérebro. Apesar de não achar grande piada à poesia e a achar vazia sem música ou dramatização...
Pega na minha mão
Apresenta-lhe o teu corpo
Quando te conhecer todos os cantos
Mostra-me ainda outro
Depois deixa-me mergulhar nos teus olhos
Mostra-me tudo o que viste
Faz-me saber o que amaste
E tudo o que te deixou triste
Leva-me mais tarde ao Mundo
Leva-me e traz-me do fundo
Mostra-me primeiro todo o nada
Depois ensina-me a ser tudo
Mostra-me todos os sítios maus
Mostra-me todos os sítios bons
Quero ver coisas novas
Novas cores, caras, novos sons e novos tons
Quero ver a amizade
Quero ver a confiança
Quero ver o desespero
E depois a esperança
Quero vaguear pela tua mão
Ver lágrimas, sangues, suores
Amores sem mentira nem intriga
Sem inveja nem traidores
Não te peço a felicidade
Mas mostra-me como é ser feliz
Mas leva-me tu pela mão
Leva-me tu...porque mais ninguém quis.
Peter Moralez 10/11/2007
Pega na minha mão
Apresenta-lhe o teu corpo
Quando te conhecer todos os cantos
Mostra-me ainda outro
Depois deixa-me mergulhar nos teus olhos
Mostra-me tudo o que viste
Faz-me saber o que amaste
E tudo o que te deixou triste
Leva-me mais tarde ao Mundo
Leva-me e traz-me do fundo
Mostra-me primeiro todo o nada
Depois ensina-me a ser tudo
Mostra-me todos os sítios maus
Mostra-me todos os sítios bons
Quero ver coisas novas
Novas cores, caras, novos sons e novos tons
Quero ver a amizade
Quero ver a confiança
Quero ver o desespero
E depois a esperança
Quero vaguear pela tua mão
Ver lágrimas, sangues, suores
Amores sem mentira nem intriga
Sem inveja nem traidores
Não te peço a felicidade
Mas mostra-me como é ser feliz
Mas leva-me tu pela mão
Leva-me tu...porque mais ninguém quis.
Peter Moralez 10/11/2007
sexta-feira, 9 de novembro de 2007
"Forever, but not for now..."
Don't keep love in a drawer for too long. It will get old and rusty.
Then..."Maybe someday you'll look up/and barely conscious you'll say to no one/Isn't something missing?"
Better throw it out, at least someone can catch it from the ground and take it home...
A chaotic night approaches... ;)
Then..."Maybe someday you'll look up/and barely conscious you'll say to no one/Isn't something missing?"
Better throw it out, at least someone can catch it from the ground and take it home...
A chaotic night approaches... ;)
segunda-feira, 5 de novembro de 2007
Yesterday was a good day to die...
...so I got up in the middle of the night. I got out of my room and headed towards the kitchen. 'There's a knife there...'
I open the drawer and theres it is, shinning with the little amount of moonlight that comes from outside. I look at the blade...I can't miss, I can't hesitate. My left wrist resting firmly against the kitchen table...the knife well clutched in my right hand... NOW!!! - a voice inside my head shouts.
I see the blade piercing trough my wrist, damaging all it finds in it's way...I pull it up, so there's no chance of failling. 'I won't make a sound, let me fall to the ground...' I lay down, afterall...falling would wake someone up.
I stand there, looking at the ceiling, my wrist hurts, I wish it would stop, but time seems to stand still...even on my death bed, I'll have to regret everything I did, death will torture me, taking long enough for me to do it...let's do it, then. My back starts to feel wet, maybe it's blood, maybe it's something else, it won't make a difference, I'll be gone for good.
I hear many familliar voices...'No, don't help me!!! Please...' Soon I realize they're not there, they're inside me...
I hear a couple of female voices, a handful of male.
-Why did you do this? - one of the male voices says...
-I couldn't stand it, now leave me alone!!! Sorry, I just want to rest. And thanks for all the good times, you were a really great friend. Sorry, but you won't be alone...wish I could hug you...bye. Don't remember me, ever, that's the point.
Three voices shut.
The voice I always heard, the greatest of friends, a brother...he speaks in a sad voice.
-We talked so much about it, but I never thought you would do it...
-I'm sorry, my friend, my brother, my companion. You were the only one who never left me, who always stood there for me, and now I'm leaving you. But don't miss me, please. Let me die in peace, the way I couldn't live. Wish you luck with everything, sorry about all the plans we made and we'll never accomplish, sorry for all the times I was such a bastard. We could have a dog, sure... I really love you. Don't take the guilt and... "Don't live with shame". Show them what you're worth, and take care of them all. I wish I could hug you and say all of this personally. Bye...
A female voice talks. A female voice I've know for years. Not that long ago, I'd say I knew this voice like no other person did, but right now, that would be a lie.
-Why? I really...
-No, you didn't!!! Don't even dare saying that word again! I've heard it as a lie too many times before. I don't want lies, I don't want excuses nor explanations, I don't want to know anything. We've said all the words, we've sang all the songs, we did every move. We were meant, but you never cared. Live as you've done, and not a tear, as I expect you to. Afterall, "When it ends like it ended, what's it worth?" Bye...
I hear your voice...in that moment, I see the light, I know it's time for me to go...but I still wanna hear you...
-Is it cold there? Is it hot? I'm cold.
-I've known better temperatures, but I guess it's O.K. You're not gonna ask why?
-I need not. I know your reasons...
-Sorry, I never thought it would end like this, but I was tired...'too tired to care'.
-No need to explain. Hope you find your way up there.
-Up? Up is not my direction...I'm going down.
-You know that's not true...you're going up and remember, you will never...
...I couldn't hear what you said next, but I knew it...I wanted so much to finish that sentence. I was up, standing in my kitchen, there was blood on the floor, I could see myself. 'Guess I'm already dead'...then I looked at me, one last time. I had never seen myself. It's different from a photo, from a film, from a mirror. I look closer...this is how all of you saw me. This is how I was for all of you...weird, I'm smilling...I wasn't smilling when I looked at the ceiling. There's only one thing that makes me smile, lately...you. All of you.
The light shines brighter...but it's not dragging me, it's questioning me. I feel I still have a choice. I came all this way...but now...now I really want to finish that sentence, it rattles inside struggling to slip out of my mouth...
Light, air, heat...light from my room's window, air from the very same room, heat from outside, leaking in through every tiny hole. My body burns and you're not around...
But wrist is ok. Voices gone. Is this death? Not that different...maybe it was a dream...no, there's a scar, only it didn't happen yesterday, it didn't happen in my kitchen, and the voices...one certainly wasn't there, I must have imagined it. She'd never come, I laugh at my own stupidity.
But yours was real...I got up, maybe I was still sleeping when I read your words, but they did make sense, they cooled me like a pleasant southern rain. I could have died last night, but I would never have read your words, and I wouldn't be able to finish the sentence...
'walk alone'..."You will never walk alone..."
Today...today is a terrible day to die...
I open the drawer and theres it is, shinning with the little amount of moonlight that comes from outside. I look at the blade...I can't miss, I can't hesitate. My left wrist resting firmly against the kitchen table...the knife well clutched in my right hand... NOW!!! - a voice inside my head shouts.
I see the blade piercing trough my wrist, damaging all it finds in it's way...I pull it up, so there's no chance of failling. 'I won't make a sound, let me fall to the ground...' I lay down, afterall...falling would wake someone up.
I stand there, looking at the ceiling, my wrist hurts, I wish it would stop, but time seems to stand still...even on my death bed, I'll have to regret everything I did, death will torture me, taking long enough for me to do it...let's do it, then. My back starts to feel wet, maybe it's blood, maybe it's something else, it won't make a difference, I'll be gone for good.
I hear many familliar voices...'No, don't help me!!! Please...' Soon I realize they're not there, they're inside me...
I hear a couple of female voices, a handful of male.
-Why did you do this? - one of the male voices says...
-I couldn't stand it, now leave me alone!!! Sorry, I just want to rest. And thanks for all the good times, you were a really great friend. Sorry, but you won't be alone...wish I could hug you...bye. Don't remember me, ever, that's the point.
Three voices shut.
The voice I always heard, the greatest of friends, a brother...he speaks in a sad voice.
-We talked so much about it, but I never thought you would do it...
-I'm sorry, my friend, my brother, my companion. You were the only one who never left me, who always stood there for me, and now I'm leaving you. But don't miss me, please. Let me die in peace, the way I couldn't live. Wish you luck with everything, sorry about all the plans we made and we'll never accomplish, sorry for all the times I was such a bastard. We could have a dog, sure... I really love you. Don't take the guilt and... "Don't live with shame". Show them what you're worth, and take care of them all. I wish I could hug you and say all of this personally. Bye...
A female voice talks. A female voice I've know for years. Not that long ago, I'd say I knew this voice like no other person did, but right now, that would be a lie.
-Why? I really...
-No, you didn't!!! Don't even dare saying that word again! I've heard it as a lie too many times before. I don't want lies, I don't want excuses nor explanations, I don't want to know anything. We've said all the words, we've sang all the songs, we did every move. We were meant, but you never cared. Live as you've done, and not a tear, as I expect you to. Afterall, "When it ends like it ended, what's it worth?" Bye...
I hear your voice...in that moment, I see the light, I know it's time for me to go...but I still wanna hear you...
-Is it cold there? Is it hot? I'm cold.
-I've known better temperatures, but I guess it's O.K. You're not gonna ask why?
-I need not. I know your reasons...
-Sorry, I never thought it would end like this, but I was tired...'too tired to care'.
-No need to explain. Hope you find your way up there.
-Up? Up is not my direction...I'm going down.
-You know that's not true...you're going up and remember, you will never...
...I couldn't hear what you said next, but I knew it...I wanted so much to finish that sentence. I was up, standing in my kitchen, there was blood on the floor, I could see myself. 'Guess I'm already dead'...then I looked at me, one last time. I had never seen myself. It's different from a photo, from a film, from a mirror. I look closer...this is how all of you saw me. This is how I was for all of you...weird, I'm smilling...I wasn't smilling when I looked at the ceiling. There's only one thing that makes me smile, lately...you. All of you.
The light shines brighter...but it's not dragging me, it's questioning me. I feel I still have a choice. I came all this way...but now...now I really want to finish that sentence, it rattles inside struggling to slip out of my mouth...
Light, air, heat...light from my room's window, air from the very same room, heat from outside, leaking in through every tiny hole. My body burns and you're not around...
But wrist is ok. Voices gone. Is this death? Not that different...maybe it was a dream...no, there's a scar, only it didn't happen yesterday, it didn't happen in my kitchen, and the voices...one certainly wasn't there, I must have imagined it. She'd never come, I laugh at my own stupidity.
But yours was real...I got up, maybe I was still sleeping when I read your words, but they did make sense, they cooled me like a pleasant southern rain. I could have died last night, but I would never have read your words, and I wouldn't be able to finish the sentence...
'walk alone'..."You will never walk alone..."
Today...today is a terrible day to die...
domingo, 4 de novembro de 2007
Nunca entendeste...
Muse - Muscle Museum
She had something to confess to,
But you don't have the time so look the other way
You will wait until it's over:
To reveal what you'd never shown her
Too little much too late
Too long tryin' to resist it
You've just gone and missed it
It's escaped your world
Can you see that I have needed
Begging for so much more than you could ever give
I don't want you to adore me
Don't want you to ignore me
When it pleases you yeah
And I'll do it on my own
I have played in every toilet but
You still want to spoil it
To prove I've made a big mistake
Too long tryin' to resist it
You've just gone and missed it
It's escaped your world
Can you see that I have needed
Begging for so much more
Than you could ever give
I don't want you to adore me
Don't want you to ignore me
When it pleases you yeah
I'll do it on my own
I'll do it on my own
And I'll do it all by myself
You will never make it
Última música que posto aqui.
sexta-feira, 2 de novembro de 2007
A Pact With the Devil
The day before yesterday...it was Halloween. But I didn't see any witches, nor vampires, nor werewolves. The only thing I saw...was the devil himself!
I was making my way to the bathroom...something was heating my insides unpleasantly...was it the drinks? Maybe, but not likely...it wasn't a normal feeling, but I just knew I had to throw up.
Time stops...
-Wanna stop it? Just give me what I want and it will...
-And what do you want?
-Mortality for one night. Your body...so I can get hers...
-Whose body you wanna get?
-The girl with the shinny skin, with the pleasant smell, with the perfectly drawn curves...
-NO!!! I won't give you that...
-Then let the world spin...
I threw up...I couldn't give him what he wanted...but before I could even notice, I was at the Hell's Door...he was stronger, then...I was weaker. Again that unpleasant heat inside...
-She's still around...why do you do this?
-Do what?
-Why don't you just give me what I want?
-Let's do it like this...I'll give you the touch of her hand, the smell of her skin and her friendship, it's all I got, it's more than you deserve, and you're not offering that much.
-I accept.
Me and the Devil walked "home" together. We woke up together...He's a part of me that will never rest...
I was making my way to the bathroom...something was heating my insides unpleasantly...was it the drinks? Maybe, but not likely...it wasn't a normal feeling, but I just knew I had to throw up.
Time stops...
-Wanna stop it? Just give me what I want and it will...
-And what do you want?
-Mortality for one night. Your body...so I can get hers...
-Whose body you wanna get?
-The girl with the shinny skin, with the pleasant smell, with the perfectly drawn curves...
-NO!!! I won't give you that...
-Then let the world spin...
I threw up...I couldn't give him what he wanted...but before I could even notice, I was at the Hell's Door...he was stronger, then...I was weaker. Again that unpleasant heat inside...
-She's still around...why do you do this?
-Do what?
-Why don't you just give me what I want?
-Let's do it like this...I'll give you the touch of her hand, the smell of her skin and her friendship, it's all I got, it's more than you deserve, and you're not offering that much.
-I accept.
Me and the Devil walked "home" together. We woke up together...He's a part of me that will never rest...
The Hallow...een xD
Serve o presente apenas para para tirar certas conclusões da noite de 4ª para 5ª. Havia muito para dizer, mas vou apenas referir um factor de cada elemento da companhia que apareceu no Bairro Alto.
1 - A Jofi é a maior angariadora de tabaco do universo ("Aquele ali a olhar é o teu namorado? :P")
2 - O Morais é o camisola amarela, ya. Mas continuou a beber e não se arrastou por ruas e becos nem passou a noite a gesticular igualmente independentemente da pergunta que lhe fizessem xD
3 - Tudo tem raízes africanas, afirma veementemente o Moço. ("Eles [os brancos] pegaram nos Djambés e todas as merdas em que els tocavam lá em África e puseram tudo dentro de um computador." - Achas mesmo que cabia, pá?)
4 - O Bogas...epah...o Bogas fazia anos assim que atingíssemos a meia-noite...
5 - O Ruben constrói planetas em pleno Bairro Alto, e é a pessoa que demora mais tempo a comprar tabaco e a levantar dinheiro que eu conheço. (Dinheiro desconhecido para mim é mais rápido xD)
6 - O Tiago, para além de ouvir bocas por causa de uma fêmea de leste, pareceu-me ser a pessoa que mais usufruiu do ponto nº1, e a pessoa que me pareceu ter a maior panóplia de comentários rebarbados.
7 - O caloiro...bem, para além de.."uma vez consegui convencer a minha mãe que era gay, na altura até me pareceu engraçado"...wtf? xD ...*hick*
8 - Sim, a Marta...ficou para o fim...porque a Marta é mesmo boa pessoa e porque (sem contar com o ruben) foi a última pessoa que vi antes de me deitar, e a primeir dp d acordar. És mesmo impecável. "Não, não tenho frio!" ("NO SEX!!!") xD
Obrigado a todos...
1 - A Jofi é a maior angariadora de tabaco do universo ("Aquele ali a olhar é o teu namorado? :P")
2 - O Morais é o camisola amarela, ya. Mas continuou a beber e não se arrastou por ruas e becos nem passou a noite a gesticular igualmente independentemente da pergunta que lhe fizessem xD
3 - Tudo tem raízes africanas, afirma veementemente o Moço. ("Eles [os brancos] pegaram nos Djambés e todas as merdas em que els tocavam lá em África e puseram tudo dentro de um computador." - Achas mesmo que cabia, pá?)
4 - O Bogas...epah...o Bogas fazia anos assim que atingíssemos a meia-noite...
5 - O Ruben constrói planetas em pleno Bairro Alto, e é a pessoa que demora mais tempo a comprar tabaco e a levantar dinheiro que eu conheço. (Dinheiro desconhecido para mim é mais rápido xD)
6 - O Tiago, para além de ouvir bocas por causa de uma fêmea de leste, pareceu-me ser a pessoa que mais usufruiu do ponto nº1, e a pessoa que me pareceu ter a maior panóplia de comentários rebarbados.
7 - O caloiro...bem, para além de.."uma vez consegui convencer a minha mãe que era gay, na altura até me pareceu engraçado"...wtf? xD ...*hick*
8 - Sim, a Marta...ficou para o fim...porque a Marta é mesmo boa pessoa e porque (sem contar com o ruben) foi a última pessoa que vi antes de me deitar, e a primeir dp d acordar. És mesmo impecável. "Não, não tenho frio!" ("NO SEX!!!") xD
Obrigado a todos...
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